Oh, somewhere in this troubled land, screens are flashing bright,
At some far-distant airport, there’s no delay of flights,
Somewhere banks are doing deals, bootleggers brewing hooch,
But there was no joy at, CrowdStrike, when screwed it the pooch
With apologies to Ernest Lawrence Thayer – Casey at the Bat
OK; maybe stating that they screwed the pooch is a bit harsh, but whatever they were doing to Bowser, it messed up our browsers, inconveniencing many and annoying just about everyone.
And there was even authentic heartbreak, as exemplified by this tragic image from The Vegas Sphere:
If the sight of the ancient “blue screen of death” on America’s most hyped-up, tech-enabled playground
doesn’t move you, well, then, you’re probably a horrible person whom I don’t wish to know.
Miraculously, the outage took place during a break from the venue’s core attractions – residencies for dinosaur rock acts like U2, the Eagles, and, of course, Dead and Co. Currently, and for the rest of the month, they’re rolling with some sort of cheesy “Postcards from Earth” thing, replete with enormous AI- generated tripe. However, the Gratefaux Dead will be back at the beginning of August, for another round of its never-ending “fare-the-well” shows. Let us pray that the glitch will have been mended by then, because this time, they (the reconstituted Dead, that is) might really mean it.
The blame for the fiasco devolves upon baller cyber security firm CrowdStrike (CRWD), whose custodians, by published reports, have demonstrated delayed and perhaps insufficient contriteness.
Apparently, some cyber-security patch failed, impacting everyone not tied exclusively to Apple, so impacting no one. The episode puzzled me greatly, though, having taken place, according to published reports, on Friday morning. But nearly everyone with whom I deal was experiencing internet problems going all the way back to late Wednesday, so what gives?
And this isn’t the first time that CrowdStrike has dominated news feeds in less-than-flattering ways. Approximately eight years ago, they got mixed up in some of those shady shenanigans associated with the since-discredited claims of Russian interference into the 2016 election.
That was bad. This is probably worse.
And, ironically, it transpired amid what is shaping up to be an election season that may even surpass the
outsize expectations we’ve formed for associated psychodrama.
As we went to press, the mulish vultures were circling round Old Joe, while Trump, with a nicely accessorized bandage over his right ear, is back with his own singular form of self-regarding petulance. I will say this though: I think that bullet took something out of him, as well it might have. At Thursday
night’s coronation and ever since, he looks (to me) a bit tired, a bit spooked and a bit wobbly.
Wait… …my system just came back online (thank you CrowdStrike) and I’m told that Biden has bounced. So, the calculus has changed.
Call it inevitable. Joe would have never been there but as the only means to stop Bernie, who, prior to the former’s anointment, was a lock for the 2020 Dem nomination. He beat Bernie. And then Trump. And, ever since, he’s been expendable. As his always unruly wits began to wander uncontrollably, he became a liability. For his party, and, indeed, for the country as a whole, we can file this episode under the heading of Addition by Subtraction.
Still and all, I say Biden and Trump must debate again. Ideally at The Sphere. It’d been the best
entertainment in years.
Meantime, last week, with much of the Internet flat on its back, with a presidential contest entering its most important phase and featuring a doddering incumbent who (whatever else can be said of him) would not possibly have lased in office another 4 years — pitted against a gunshot victim who seems to have retained all his legendary narcissism, is it any wonder that the long-standing rally took a modest breather?
And it’s not like earnings to date have offered much uplift. The Big Tech Pooches, though, have yet to report, and, at least for myself, I promise to avoid the CrowdStrike transgression of screwing them.
Whether they return the accommodation by not screwing us remains to be seen.
On a happier note, with all this talk platitudinous talk about Unity (much coming from the Big Orange himself), Diversity and Inclusion, one cannot be other than pleased at the convergence of the Mag 7 with the rest of the run of the mill Gallant 500 pack:
Pleasing as this be, the convergence tilts towards the downside and it says here that we still need the leadership of the Big Tech Dogs to sustain this here rally. They had a bad week, to be sure, and a particularly bad day on Friday.
But I believe they will be back. For reasons I’ve articulated — ad infinitum, in the past. There’s still too much investible capital chasing too few investible assets, to pull this train off its rails.
So, I’m gonna go ahead and tell you that you don’t want to climb aboard any theoretical short locomotive, heading in the opposite direction, on the same track, at this stop. Lighten your load if you must; you’ll get no complaint from me. But don’t engage direct battle with this rally.
Assuming there’s connectivity and taking the leap of faith that we can episodically ignore the political saga playing out in front of our eyes, over the next couple of weeks, we can perhaps focus on the GDP drop, earnings, and the next ritualized meeting of the FOMC.
Please know that the CRWD crowd is working diligently, if somewhat manually, to restore your devices. Presumably, they’re starting with The Sphere. And here’s hoping that they don’t screw the pooch. Again.
Because none of Bobby/Mickey/Henley/Bono OR Trump is getting any younger. Or stronger.
Bowser, on the other hand, is doing fine, feeling a bit amorous, and looking for bitches in heat. His browser, if not already operative, will soon be restored. And as for CRWD, it’s two strikes against them, but they’re still at bat.
So, be forewarned.
TIMSHEL