I pledge to you that some of these days, I will desist from using this column as a running obituary. I would have liked even now to have desisted, but God Oh Mighty, they keep droppin’ like flies.
So, today’s note goes out to one Robert Montgomery Knight, the iconic college hoops coach who, while at Indiana University, made laughingstock of my Badgers year after year. Perhaps owing to his having launched his coaching career at the helm the U.S. Military Academy, as well as to his martial bearing, he was widely referred to as The General.
As am I. Ever since I took on the CRO post at an iconic, eponymous hedge fund whose founder was reared in Tennessee and got his advanced book learnin’ in Charlotteville, VA. The CEO and COO also hailed from the Old Dominion, and the place sometimes resembled a latter-day Confederate Encampment. Noting, on my first day, that I shared a sir-name with the Commander in Chief of the opposing force in the War of Northern Aggression, the guy whose name was on the door hung the handle of The General on me.
In that environment, it was hardly a compliment, but it stuck. I even used it as the corporate moniker of my current outfit.
And one thing that you should know about us Generals: when one of our number falls, whether they be friend or foe, we weep for them. I myself, my status as leader of the enemy army notwithstanding, have still not recovered fully from the loss of Albert Sidney Johnston at Shiloh, or the friendly fire demise of that rascally Stonewall Jackson at Chancellorsville.
And now we bid farewell to General Knight. He was so tough as a coach that he ran Larry Bird, maybe the coldest assassin ever to lace ‘em up, out of Bloomington in a single month. His practices were pure torture. He forced his guys to go to class. Almost all graduated, which is more than can be said about Coach K: his protégé that somehow eclipsed him. Nobody on his squad took payouts or gifts. It was a tight outfit, one that even my nemesis, R.E. Lee, could appreciate.
He could not always control the fire inside him, however, and, after incidents of public misbehavior too numerous to recount, they chased him out of Indiana. He re-emerged in Lubbock, TX, at Texas Tech, which just last month celebrated its Centennial. There, in the heart of football country, where roundball is barely an afterthought, he created a perennial contender.
In 2008, he ran outta gas. And not long ago, Indiana University welcomed him back into the fold. Ran him a big party. From what I can tell, he then resettled in Bloomington, and passed away in that town of his greatest glories – mid-last week.
I doubt he left with many regrets. Like Butkus, and maybe even Byron, the world had arguably passed him by. Life these days is about, shortcuts, hacks – the very antithesis of what Coach Knight was all about. It’s a world of Participation Trophies, which clearly were not Coach Knight’s jar of jam.
I wouldn’t even have a problem with any of this if it were even remotely sustainable. But it ain’t. Sustainable, that is.
So, it’s a mixed bag for us generals. Since we’re covering buckets, consider the Washington Generals, a squad created to serve as foppish foils to the fabulous Harlem Globetrotters.
As of 2015 when they folded (they reformed in 2017), their record against the Trotters was 6-16,000.
On Thursday, Guns and Roses dropped a forgettable tune called, yes, The General. It was written during the oxymoronically named Chinese Democracy sessions. That recording session began in 1994, but CD wasn’t released until ’08. The General came out in November 2023.
Which is all I have to say about Chinese Democracy Generals.
But there are other generals to consider. On the losing side of recent battles is, for instance, General Motors, our country’s largest auto maker, and a host once so mighty that was said of them that as they went, so went the nation. Well, they and their competing battalions just got their clocks cleaned by the United Auto Workers, which gained nearly everything they sought in their recent job action, with enemy funded Combat Pay thrown in for added humiliation.
In fairness, though, they were locking horns with that modern-day Napoleon – UAW President Shawn Fain, pictured below:
There he is on the immediate left, dressed in fatigues and looking like no one so much as George S. Patton relieving another Montgomery (U.K. Field Marshal Bernard) in the Battle of the Bulge.
His image evokes memories of ancient martial glories, including those of, say, Alexander the Great, of whom it is said that he wept when there were no more worlds to conquer.
Fortunately for General Fain, though, new contests are on the immediate horizon, including those against Tesla, Toyota and Nissan.
May he follow in the footsteps of other great labor leaders – including James Hoffa, James Hoffa, Jr., Jackie Presser, and of course Fran Drescher. But how well he fares is a matter of broad interest to us all. The new contract places the Big Three at an approximate 60% labor cost disadvantage to upcoming strike targets (Tesla, Toyota, Nissan, etc.) – which will certainly impact everything from auto purchasing pricing patterns to the geographic distribution of manufacturing labor forces.
All of which comes against the backdrop of a Jobs Market that may be losing steam. Friday’s BLS report not only showed tepid job creation, a downward revision of numbers for the last two months, and an unexpected jump in the base rate, but also a disproportionate contribution from the Public Sector.
Investors, however, took all in stride, bidding up stocks, bonds and even Bitcoin. Ten Year Yields are down ~50 bp from Mid-October highs. Here, the contribution of the flanking civilian army led by Fed Chair Powell, bears mention. He and his compadres are, somewhat surprisingly, speaking openly about declaring victory in the Inflation Wars, and sending his battle-weary rate hikers into muster-out configuration.
And thus, we can offer warm congratulations to one of our favorite generals: General Dow, who surged back into positive ytd territory this past week. This pleases me immeasurably, because – not gonna lie – he was facing a threat of being busted down to the ranks and being superseded by Col. Naz (promoted only earlier this year from Captain), up >28% in ’23.
The big question that emerges is whether recent victories on the investment battlefield are signs of a surge towards victory, or, simply the back and forth of the fortunes of war, as perhaps best exemplified in the WWI trenches of France.
I wish I had a better read on it for y’all, but if forced to commit, I opt for the latter. The tides are bound to reverse themselves again ‘ere long, and I believe we are best served by to gird our loins for future bloody contest.
So it goes in the generalship game, which I am sad to inform you is more than just putting stars on your shoulders and receiving salutes. As mentioned above, when I first achieved the rank, it was anything but a compliment, though I do believe it was well-intentioned.
I was thus compelled to repeatedly remind my colleagues over there just who won the War of Northern Aggression. Because it was 16 decades ago, our memories are short, and the world has continued to battle ever since.
In closing, your still-alive general thus urges you to stand alert and prepare for further orders, which should be forthcoming shortly.
TIMSHEL